If you have ever walked out of a spray tan booth with a gorgeous glow, but also a scratchy throat,

You are not imagining it. A fake tan can make you look sun-kissed, but it does not make you sun-safe.

Spray tans are supposed to be the low-drama way to get color. Then you step into the booth, the floor

You are not imagining it. One week your self-tanner looks smooth and golden, and the next it is clinging to

You finally find a self tanner you like, then you get pregnant or start breastfeeding and suddenly the bottle feels

If you have ever taken a “what’s your Fitzpatrick type?” quiz and ended up more confused than when you started,

You are not silly for feeling confused right now. One scroll through TikTok or one chat at the gym and

If your skin gets tight, itchy, blotchy, or mysteriously breakout-prone after self-tan night, you are not imagining it. A lot

You finally get your self tan even, your elbows behave for once, and then a new sunscreen buzzword shows up

You finally get your self tan looking even, golden, and expensive. Then real life happens. A sunny walk, a beach